Gaz Warz
by SpazzSim
Summary: Please see story for summary. ZAGR, later ZADF
1. Destined

**Hello, if you would kindly read my profile it would tell you who I am. I am not SimController, as she is currently in the hospital. I am her older sister. View profile for full details.**

Right, the summary: Takes place 5 years in the future. Approximate ages are: Gaz - 15; Dib - 17; and Zim - 125 years, which is roughly 17 years old (about 7.35 earth years for each Irken year). Zim has found himself intrigued by the Dib-worm's sister. But now, the not-so-miniature Invader finds he has competition for Gaz-human's affections. Never one to back away from a challenge, Zim finds himself wrapped in an interesting battle for a heart...and a position in the Irken hierarchythat he'd always craved.

**Please don't ask about the title. I have yet to figure out WHY I titled it that.**

Rated "M" for some High School Themes and sexual remarks. This is a ZAGR fic, incase you didn't catch that.

**Warnings for this chapter: Light swearing, some innuendo.**

"Talking" _Thinking _000000000000 indicates scene changes.

/Chapter One: Destined/

"Yes, Gir! I have finally discovered the way to get rid of the earthlings forever!" A green-skinned alien kid shouted in a military-like voice.

"Feed them so many waffles they explode?" a small robot with blue eyes said in a high pitched and squeaky voice.

"No, Gir, nothing that stupid. But perhaps I will keep that in mind for the Dib-worm. THIS plan involves...um...curse you, Gir. You made Zim forget his ingenious plot." The alien kid-named Zim- face contorted into an expression of disdain at his own forgetfulness, while his abovementioned SIR unit continued a ramble about exploding humans.

"And doom! I wanna sing the Doom Song! Doom doom doom doom doom..."

Zim quickly left the slightly crazy Gir to his ways, and went to the main upstairs part of the odd house, where the T.V. was. Flipping through the stations (a habit the earthlings called "channel surfing," though Zim saw no surfing involved in it) he decided that nothing good was on and he was going to put a movie in. Gir's favorite show, the Scary Monkeys or whatever it was called, was on, but the Invader had learned long ago that the strange program was _not_ for him.

As the Irken teen reached down..._waitonegoshdarnedminute...reached down? Am I...can it be..._

The movie plans forgotten, Zim raced to the bathroom and pulled out a tape measure. As he measured his height, he thought about the hierarchy that made up the Irken Empire.

You see, on Irk the system of government is based on the Tallests, where the tallest Irkens are chosen to be leaders. However, no one ever knows who the next Tallest(s) will be, until they have a sudden growth spurt and become tall. The Tallests are destiny-chosen, and are never argued with. They are always the undisputed ruler of Irk.

Zim blinked, and slowly an evil smile broke out on his face. "Oh, yessss," he hissed. "I have been chosen. I am to be a Tallest!"

He didn't know the...we'll call them "side effects" of becoming a Tallest. It could be excruciatingly painful, he'd have a headache for days at a time, and of course his sexual drive would kick in. What male ruler of some sort of "monarchy" hadn't had a good lay or two (or in many Kings' cases, multiples) in their rules? But Zim had no idea about these, and you can bet that when he eventually remembered to report to Red and Purple they would never tell him, just so that they could see him squirm. But his report will be later. Right now, he had some...what was that term again? "Rubbing in Dib's face" to do. Or something along those lines. Revenge was the simpler term.

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In the Membrane household, Dib and Gaz were eating their cold toast. "Whatever happened to that 'super toast' or whatever Dad called it?" Dib grumbled. Gaz, being Gaz, just ignored him and nibbled on her bread while beating up a bunch of vampire piggies on the GameSlave 4, a technique that she had perfected a looonnnggg time ago.

Dib, used to being ignored, sighed and munched loudly on his wheat half-toasted toast. He wondered what Zim was plotting now. The alien had been quiet of late. Somehow, 'Zim' and 'quiet' just didn't belong in the same sentence. Dib just _knew_ that the little invader was up to something.

Little. Dib's lips twitched in an effort to not laugh out loud. According to Zim, he was about 17 in earth years, yet he was practically no taller than when he had arrived here about 5 years ago. The paranormal expert couldn't suppress the snicker that broke forth at that thought.

"Okay kids! Time to go to High School!" Professor Membrane's head-on-a-screen floated to the mealtime table. Somehow he always knew when it was time for them to depart to the hellish nightmare of a teenager's life...um, High Skool. Gaz, without breaking her concentration on the video game currently in her grasp, walked to the front door and exited the house. Dib, still amazed she could do such a thing even after living with her for the past 15 years of her life, followed silently.

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During the short walk to the High Skool situated a few blocks from his "house," Zim couldn't restrain the smug look on his face. _I'm gonna be a Tallest,_ he sang in his head, practically skipping to the entrance of the skool.

Right in front of said establishment, Zim spotted the Dib-worm and his sister walking. The green skinned boy swaggered up to them, and was in such a good mood that he greeted both siblings rather civily.

"Hello, Dib-stink person." Well, civil for Zim, at least. "Hello, Gaz-human."

"What do you want Zi-OHMIGOD!" Dib yelled the last part. Gaz, momentarily distracted by her brother's distress, glanced up to glare but stopped. And stared. In fact, most of the female population (and a few of the male students) were staring unabashedly at Zim. Seemingly overnight he had grown taller than most of the students attending the school. However, that wasn't all Gaz's eyes were feasting on. She had always known he was strong, and now she couldn't help but notice how lean and powerful he appeared. Zim practically had the body of a god! In a temporary out of character mood swing, she blushed at her thoughts and blamed it on hormones. With the green skin and the red eyes she knew were under the contacts, he could almost pass for the vampire piggy hunter(1). And speaking of piggies, she was now back in character, playing her video game like normal. She did, though, keep her eye trained on Zim, watching him strut around the Skool grounds in his military fashion.

"What the _hell_ happened to you!" Dib pretty much screamed. Gaz couldn't help but wonder the same thing, along with some of the other students listening in on the conversation.

"I have been chosen, Dirt-child!" Zim laughed. "I am to be a Tallest!"

"A tallest?" Dib pronounced it without the hint of pride in his voice that Zim's had contained. "Like a leader of your empire?"

"Luckily for you, Dib-worm, I am in an extraordinarily pleased mood. Being chosen has made me very happy, and I shall humor your stupid humanness. Yes, a Tallest is like becoming what your president is, only I will have control of all of the Irken Empire and all of the planets currently under our control. It is a great honor to become a Tallest. It also means that I, Zim! shall be the undisputed ruler or Irk, and no one shall question it! HAHAHAHAHA!" Zim explained/laughed.

"You're to be a ruler?" the two boys (well, one boy and one alien boy) turned incredulously at Gaz, who had not only just spoken but had also opened both eyes completely and was regarding Zim curiously.

Said alien, getting over his momentary surprise, flashed a smirk and answered, "Yes, a ruler. Does the position not suit me?"

Gaz just shrugged and pressed another combo into the GS 4. Zim, slightly annoyed that she didn't answer, stared down at her...and realized how..._sexy_ she looked. The way her hair fell into her face, the way her skirt laid, her figure...

Shaking his head viciously, Zim commanded his brain to stop thinking such thoughts. The attractive earth female (hell, she'd be attractive on Irk!) would surely notice, or at least the Dib would.

In fact, Dib had noticed Zim eyeing his younger sister. Despite how creepy she could be at times, Gaz was still his little sister and only sibling, so he moved in front of her as if to shield her from the alien. This fact did not go unnoticed by Zim, who narrowed his eyes at Dib while swearing silently that he would claim the Gaz-female's affections by the end of the school year. He could tell that his new appearance was attracting the looks of many females, and he planned on using this advantage. If things went his way he could "kill two birds with one stone:" he could utterly piss off the Dib-worm and have a female under his control.

Zim didn't think he would have any problems with this. He didn't realize how difficult it would actually be.

/End chapter one/

(1) Reference to episode 12b: GameSlave 2

Well, how was that? Believe it or not, this is actually the first posted story via the internet I've ever done. Typically my younger sister and my friends would read my stuff. But whatever.

Please review. From what sister tells me, reviews are nice.

Spazzyfries, signing off for now.


	2. Egos Galore?

**Well, here we are on chapter 2 of Gaz Warz. And I still have no idea why I named it that. Perhaps I'll get a clue while typing this chapter up. **

An OC is introduced in this chapter, but his sole purpose is to get Gaz into bed, and he is an sacrificial character. Besides, Gaz is smarter than that.

**Warnings: More swearing. And next chapter is a Human Reproduction Video, like in health class. **

I just now realized I hadn't put a disclaimer in! So, I am claiming nothing except the OC named Lex, who's ego could match Zim's. Actually, I really don't want Lex... he's so, so...sexist.

**Oh, and I did make the whole hierarchy thing up, although it is stated in the show that the Irken Empire is based on the Tallest ones.**

"Talking" _Thinking_ 000000 scene changes

**Enjoy!**

**/Chapter Two: Egos Galore/**

Zim plotted, and planned. He schemed for hours on end...

"ZIM! Pay attention!"

...in the classroom. The alien winced slightly as a piece of chalk came flying at his head. The teacher, a fat, sweaty male of the human population, glared at him while scribbling something on a pad of paper. Dib, on the other side of the room, snickered.

"Now Zim, repeat what I just told the class about!" The teacher and students all regarded Zim as one, with ever single one of their filthy human eyes trained on him, waiting for a response.

Zim, now realizing the true horror of schizophrenia, twitched and accessed his memory camera. Over the years, Zim had found that planting a camera for viewing later was a smart idea, as he often was caught in class ignoring the teacher. Then, by quickly and discreetly pressing a few buttons, his human eye contact would show him what had happened in the last few moments, and a microphone in his ear would record/play back whatever the teacher had said to the pupils.

"Class...tomorrow you will be watching a video that explains human reproduction," Zim repeated after the recording. Skipping over the few groans he heard, the alien continued: "This will go over the hormones, the birth of a baby, and of course, sexual intercourse."

The teacher blinked, not expecting the kid to answer so...accurately. Nodding his head, he continued to lecture the class on something as Zim wiped a few drops of Irken sweat off his forehead. What was that again? Hormones? Baby birth? Sexual intercourse? What were these terms! He quickly wrote a note on his paper, reminding himself to research those things at home. _Now, to get back to plotting, and planning, and scheming..._

Allowing his mind to fall into a trance of sorts, Zim went through a few ways he could get Gaz to notice him.

1) Command her attention

2) Sit with her at lunch

3) Give her something she wants

After debating for a while, he decided that option 2 was the best one, although #1 seemed like a good idea as well. Very well, sitting with her at their lunch period was the way to go, even though Zim doubted she'd bother to realize his presence. If that was the case then he'd be forced to put his first plan in action, and do something that utterly _commanded_ her immediate recognition.

_Oh, yeah,_ Zim remembered, _doesn't the Dib-monkey sit with her though? _He shrugged it off, and decided that it was worth the effort.

0000000000Lunch Time!0000000000

Gaz moved through the lunch line like she normally did: stare at the meal choices, decide nothing was safe to eat, snatch a yogurt, and then move to her table in the corner. There, she would be joined by Dib, who would eat whatever he'd packed that morning. Then, she would eat her yogurt with Dib watching, worrying that she wasn't getting enough nutrition. And the bell would ring and that would be that.

But today was different.

The purple haired youth grabbed the yogurt and moved to her table like normal, but instead of the usual empty seats, somebody was sitting there. A green-skinned, tall someone, who most of the girls in the room were sneaking glances at. Gaz blinked and moved to the table, sitting on the other side of the bench, trying to be as far away from the now attractive Zim as possible.

However, the alien didn't know how to take hints, so he just scooted closer to Gaz. She gritted her teeth and pulled the plastic top off of the yogurt, stirring the concoction with her spoon. _At least once Dib gets here, Zim will wanna leave, _she thought.

"So, um, Gaz-human, um, why is it that you sit here?" Zim attempted to start a conversation, which he believed would be one sided. He would speak, and Gaz would not answer. But he was wrong.

"I like it here," Gaz replied. _Ack! What's wrong with me? I'm supposed to be quiet!_ Despite that, she couldn't help but answer him. Maybe it was because she loved making the other girls (that were currently staring angrily at them) jealous? Yeah, that's why.

And we're going to let her believe that for now.

Just then Dib decided to make his grand entrance, AKA running into the cafeteria like a maniac. In his morning rush, he'd forgotten to pack, so he made his way to the lunch line and picked up a tray of harmless looking mashed potatoes, some brown stuff, and a drink of Choco Poop. Walking towards Gaz, he also realized there was an addition to the table. "Zim!" he cried, running the rest of the way to his sister.

"Yes? Is there a problem, Dib-monkey?" Zim asked innocently, a gleam in his eyes.

"OF COURSE THERE IS!" Dib screamed. "YOU'RE SITTING AT MY TABLE!"

"I see no place where your name is written on it," Zim calmly stated. Gaz couldn't help but laugh inwardly at that. For an alien, he was pretty good with comebacks.

"Leave him alone, Dib. He's fine," Gaz commanded her brother. Both alien and human turned to her, one pleased and the other pissed.

"But-"

"Now Dib, hasn't your sister made it clear that I may sit here?" Zim said smugly. Dib just glared evilly, taking a lot after his sister. And since there was no room beside her (Zim was there) he had to sit on the other side of the table.

As Dib sat down, Gaz returned to eating her yogurt. Hopefully, with Zim there, Dib wouldn't go into any of his "nutrition" rants.

Nope, too bad. He decided to bug her anyways.

"Gaz, is that _all _you're eating!"

"Yes." Simple answers work.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a bajillion times: You gotta eat more! I watch you every day-okay, that sounded wrong, but oh well-and you barely eat anything anymore!" _It was true_, Dib thought, _she eats toast, yogurt, and the smallest serving possible at dinner._

"My life is not your concern, Dib." Gaz glared into her vanilla flavored food, while Zim watched the two curiously. He'd seen people argue before, but this was much better, as he could practically sense the tension in the air.

"When you start to try to starve yourself, then it becomes my concern, Gaz! You can't keep doing this to yourself, or you'll die, dammit! How do you think Dad would feel about that? Or moth-" he abruptly stopped, clasping his hands over his mouth. Zim paid close attention; this was interesting.

Gaz's hands were shaking, and the alien could see the spoon being gripped so hard it was drawing blood. "Never..." Gaz whispered, "Never... talk about mom..._again_." Her voice was like a cold knife, jabbing into Dib's chest. She suddenly stood up and left the cafeteria, the voices of everybody dying as she walked out, then reviving and louder than before.

Zim glanced at Dib. "What the hell was that about?"

Dib seemed more subdued than before, and as he poked his brown...eh, 'food,' he actually answered. "Gaz is kind of touchy when it comes to mom. You see, Mom died giving birth to her. So Dad went through a period of hatred towards everything, and Gaz suffered for it. That's why she hates the world, and loves video games. She finds it a way to-AHHH!" Dib overbalanced on his seat as the glob of stuff on his plate bit off the end of the spoon. The brown blob growled contentedly, while Dib turned greener than Zim. "I'm gonna go barf now," he told Zim in a wobbly voice, and sprinted out of the lunchroom.

Zim faced the blob angrily. "Damn you, he was just about to spill some good information on the Gaz-female!" The alien teen attempted to pick up the tray and throw it away, but the brown thing snapped at Zim's gloved hand. He made a girly noise, and left it on the table. "ROT TO THE END OF YOUR DAYS!" he shouted at it, but as it twitched and flopped toward him, Zim screamed and high-tailed it out of there.

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And where was Gaz through all of this nonsense? In the abandoned girls' bathroom, wrapping the cut from the spoon. And why exactly was it abandoned?

"Down, Riku," she absentmindedly told the greenish-purple mold on the walls. The first time she had discovered the bathroom, Gaz had nursed the mold, if you could call accidentallyfeeding it the leftovers from Dib's lunches nursing, and it had grown to "love" her. As creepy as it sounded, the mold was her best friend. It knew her moods, treated her better than humans, and as a result she had named it after her favorite character in a video game. Plus she still feeds it.

Riku sent a ripple of what seemed like concern through his, erm, _body_ (for lack of a better word). She sighed and finished the wrapping.

"Nothing too bad today. Zim was sitting at our table, though. And you know what else? Zim is somewhat cool looking now. He got really tall, and he's supposed to be a leader someday. But he needs to work on his communication skills. Unless his whole race goes around shouting their names from the skies...hmmm, that would be funny..." she giggled a bit, and Riku did something akin to laughing. "But Dib was his annoying self as usual. He keeps nagging about how I'm not gonna grow up big and strong if I don't get my nutrition." Making a face, she glanced at the moldy walls. "Wow, you're getting rather large, huh?"

The mold, if it'd had a face, would have beamed in pride. She chuckled and "tickled" him. Riku laughed back, but suddenly stiffened.

Gaz turned and watched the door creak open. Her eyes widened; all of the girls knew this bathroom was off-limits, and the boys weren't allowed in anyways, so that left only one person...

"Dib?" she asked in a bored tone, her eyes going back to their normal size.

"How in the seven hells could you confuse the great Zim with that lowly earth monkey?"

Gaz screeched and flung a pencil at the door, while Zim pushed it open. "What the fuck? GET OUTTA THE GIRL'S BATHROOM!"

"No," Zim said. "I need to ask you something."

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After throwing up a few times, then dry heaving, Dib was ready to go. But as he left the men's room, he heard his name over the P.A. system.

"Dib Membrane, please report to the principal's office...repeating...Dib Membrane, please report to the principal's office..."

All of the teenagers in the immediate area laughed at his horrified expression, but he got it under control and jogged to the offices.

Bursting in the door, he went up to the secretary and asked, "Am I in trouble?" After the lady shook her head, Dib let out a sigh of relief and sat down.

"Dib, the principal will see you now," the lady said, filing her nails. Slightly nervous, he let himself into the office, where, to his surprise, another boy was sitting. _He must be new,_ Dib thought.

The boy was about as tall as Dib, with blue hair (Dib supposed he dyed it), blue eyes, and a slightly muscular build. Dib judged him to be a jock, and he was right when he saw the boy was wearing a school team jersey.

"Dib, I'd like you to meet Lex. Lex Rose." The boy in question grimaced at his last name, but then smiled and stuck his hand out to shake. Dib, for some reason, was wary of the boy right away, but forced a grin onto his face and reached out to grasp Lex's hand. "He's new," the principal said, confirming Dib's thoughts, "and he needs shown around the school. Since you two now have the same schedules, I'm assigning you to be his guide for the day. Okayhavefunbye!" The principal pressed a button that sent the boys right back to the front entrance, where Dib sighed.

"Right then. I'm Dib Membrane. This is High Skool, where they force us to come everyday however hard we protest." Dib decided he was bored, and wanted to look for Zim. Maybe, if by dragging Lex along, Dib would finally be able to expose Zim for the alien he was! "Come with me. I've gotta find Zim and my sister."

At the mention of a girl, Lex's eyes started to twinkle. "Hmm...a sister you say?" he asked as they hurried down the corridors to the abandoned girl's room Dib knew of. He was sure that she was there.

"Yeah, sister, Gaz, shorter than us, amberish eyes, purple hair, goth, GameSlave 4 freak," Dib said distractedly. "Now, it should be around here...Aha!"

Pointing to the forbidden door proudly, Dib walked to it, but was dragged back by a fearful Lex. "But that's the _girl's room_," he said in a horrified voice. Dib shrugged.

"So?" he questioned as he started again toward the door.

0000000Earlier, as Dib was throwing up...00000

"I need to ask you a question."

Gaz blinked. "Um. Okay?" she sat on the floor, and patted a spot next to her. As Zim sat, Riku made some sort of growling noise, and Zim glanced around in a jittery way. Gaz secretly grinned, and muttered "Down, boy," to Riku. Zim turned to her curiously.

"The mold...it _listens_ to you?" he asked. Gaz nodded and smiled at the greenish-purple splotches around them

"This is Riku. I fed him one day, and kept feeding him, and I just now noticed how large he was..." she felt Zim's eyes on her, and coughed to hide the slight blush forming on her face. "Anyways, he's my best friend. Was that your question?"

"No." Zim said firmly. "I have a much more important question."

"Shoot."

Zim gave her a quizzical look. "Why would I shoot you?"

Gaz sighed. "It means 'go ahead.'"

"Oh. Right. Why does the Dib believe you do not eat enough nutrition?" Gaz twitched and faced the opposite direction.

"That's...a bit of a story..."

"Well, 'shoot' as you put it." Zim was smug at the proper use of the word.

"...You'll actually listen?" she asked. The alien boy just barely detected the hint of amazement in her voice. He felt his squeedily-spooch vibrate faster, and his face softened, just a tiny bit.

"Yeah," he said, "I will."

But, of course, that was when Dib made his entry, with Lex trailing behind. At first, what he saw awed him. Zim was almost holding his younger sister, and she wasn't beating the holy shit outta him. Then, the idea of them together enraged him...

"GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" he shouted, making a mad dive at Zim. The alien pushed Gaz away from him and leapt out of Dib's way. The human wasn't expecting that, and landed hard on Riku, who made a moaning noise.

"RIKU!" Gaz yelled, accepting the hand Lex offered, then pushing him away in distress. "DIB! Get off of Riku, you're crushing him!"

Dib looked around, momentarily confused, until Zim whispered, "The mold, insufferable human."

Sheepishly lifting his body off of Riku, Dib walked to stand next to Lex. He watched his little sister run to the mold and pet it gently. "Shhh..." she murmured soothingly.

Dib knew that he was going to be dead at home. Gaz was giving off _waves_ of terrible, evil, murderous anger, and Dib was sure that even Zim could feel it. "I think he'll be okay..." she said to herself. She swung around, and sure enough the pure sadistic gleam was in her eye. Dib cringed as she strode past the teenaged boys.

"Wow, she's hot," Lex muttered. "I bet I could get her to be my girlfriend in record time.." Dib, with his attention solely on Gaz, didn't hear the uttered words, but Zim did. The alien narrowed his eyes, and made a mental note to watch the boy closely, if necessary more than he watched Dib.

Gaz was going to be _his _earth female. No little human would stop that.

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wOOt! Zim was all possessive there for a second. You can expect more of that in the future...

And if the characters seem OOC-ish, you must remember that Zim is going through some changes, Dib must now face his sister becoming friends with his enemy, and Gaz is a female: we have mood swings, ya know. Thank you reviewers, you all flatter me

-Spazzyfries

P.S. I don't own the video game Riku is from. Kudos to the one who knows what video game he's from!

P.P.S. Yes, my teachers do throw chalk at our heads... Heh.

Next chapter should be up before X-mas. Or on X-mas, maybe I'll type it at my grandma's house.

Please leave a review!


	3. Health Class

**Well, this chappy is out a day later than I wanted, but little sister is FINALLY back from the hospital. She's still kinda fragile though...Oh, and in the summary it says ZADF (Zim and Dib Friendship), it's not really gonna be a friendship, it's gonna be a mutual agreement on certain things. **

Yay! People reviewed! The teachers at my skool are EVIL. The damn chalk HURTS sometimes! Especially the sharp pieces! The best memory of my one teacher is:

Me: (helping friend) Here, do it like this-

Teacher: SHUT UP :throws sharp chalk:

Me: X.x :in pain:

**Oh, and to CrazyMonkeyFox, you win (voice changes to deep male) Adhesive Medical Strips! (Voice back to normal) Riku is indeed from _Kingdom Hearts._ **

Okey-dokey, onto the chapter!

**Warnings: Sexual stuff, a baby making video, Zim and Dib _agreeing_ on something, and Zim meets the porn world! **

DISCLAIMER: I do not own in any way, shape, or form Invader Zim. I only own a new trenchcoat, that's black and warm and comfy and soft...(you get the idea.)

"**Talking" _Thinking_ 0000000000 scene changes**

Chapter 3: Health Class

As Skool closed for the extraordinarily long day it had been, Lex could be seen walking up to Gaz. The girl was currently ignoring the world, preferring the comfort only video games (and Riku) could provide. But, no matter how hard anybody tries, it's almost impossible to overlook a rather good-looking person of the opposite gender when they are standing right next to you. However, Gaz was a master of paying no attention to others even if they are the new kid, but she decided that she should extend the hand of kindness to Lex. He did help her up after she fell in the bathroom, and that was enough for her to at least say "Thanks" to him. Gaz sighed, reached a save point, and shut off the game. Lex grinned.

"Hey, Gaz, right?" he started.

"Yes," she answered in a monotone.

"Cool name. Very original." Inwardly, Lex cringed at this, he hated being nice, but this girl was worth the hard tries. _Think about the great lay you're gonna have,_ he told himself.

"Oh. T-thank you." _That's weird, _she thought, _usually people tease me about my name._ "What is it you...needed?"

_You tied to a bed, naked and squirming under my grasp._ "Uh, I was just wondering if, uh, I could maybe walk you home." _Pleaseworkpleaseworkpleasework..._

"Um. Okay, I guess." This was so _new_ to Gaz.

_Score!_ Was Lex's thoughts. _Now I'll know where she lives!_ Taking her hand in his, he marched proudly to the crosswalks.

_A lot like how Zim walks...Ahh! No Zim relations!_ Gaz pinked just slightly at her mind's musings, but quickly brushed it off and attempted to burry the incriminating evidence of her head's rebellious ideas. It was to no avail, as the purple haired teen couldn't help but enjoy random fantasies of a certain green-skinned alien and herself...

Shaking her head rapidly, she returned her attention to directing Lex to her house.

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Zim watched the teens go with squinted eyes. _Damn you, Lex,_ was somewhat his brain process at the time. The alien barely even registered Dib walking up to stand next to him, also glaring at Lex.

"I don't trust him," Dib said bluntly. "He gives off baaad waves of energy. His eyes are crazy, his hair is terrible, and he seems...fake."

"While I also think that you are crazy, Zim agrees. I heard him mutter something about making her his girlfriend...something that has to do with human affections, correct?" Zim queried.

Dib, after throwing Zim a nasty look for calling him crazy, nodded his head slowly. "Yeah... a girlfriend is a girl who you feel strong emotions to... and you go out on dates with them, have dinner, a movie, make out a little... and in some cases, you...have..." Dib trailed off, realizing something. "Oh my god... I think I just figured out Lex's motive."

"What is it? TELL ZIM!"

"He wants...oh god...he wants to _sleep _with her!" Dib was sweating.

The alien, however, had an expression of utter confusion on his green face. "I do not understand.. What is so bad about 'sleeping' with another person?"

"He wants to get laid!" Zim was still confused. "Okay, he wants to be intimate with her!" Still no change in Zim's facial expression. "HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH HER!" Dib screamed, drawing the attention of surrounding people.

"Ohhh...I, um, see. He wants to have-" Zim lowered his voice, "a relationship?"

Dib sighed. "Well, a relationship involving under-aged sex, yes. He's only what, like 17? And Gaz is 15! That's far too young in our society to be conducting a relationship of that level. Hey, at what age do _your_ species reproduce?"

Zim winced. "I do not know. I came from a test tube, as are most of the other Invaders. I'm not sure if they have any sort of sexual reproduction on my planet. But I do know that we have all of the necessary components required to create a-"

"Ack! More information than needed, Zim." His face turned solemn. "But...I'm concerned...Gaz may be a strong girl, but she needs support..."

"And a spying older brother, keeping watch over her to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid?" Zim added, smirking a bit.

"Yeah...Yeah, that's it! I have plenty of SpyGear somewhere. I can dig that out and it will be assured that Lex makes no moves on Gaz." Dib smiled, encouraged by the prospect of being able to protect his baby sister. It was usually her saving him, from Zim nonetheless. Now the tables were really turning: Dib was watching over Gaz, Zim wasn't the negative force here, and he an Zim were actually having a civil conversation! The oldest Membrane chuckled inwardly at the irony. It seemed that some things could really change...

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Later in the evening, Zim was sipping at one of his Irken sodas when his head suddenly throbbed angrily. "Augh!" he screeched painfully, dropping his drink on the floor in the process of twitching. "What the hell-?"

Holding his head in his hand while unsteadily making his way to the kitchen, Zim searched for an Advil pill. He hadn't, at first, thought that they would be effective relief for headaches in his case, but it turned out that they _doubled_ the effect, and his migraines had been a thing of the past.

"Gir!" He yelled for the SIR unit.

"Yes, milord!" Gir flashed red.

"Find an Advil for me, then contact the Almighty Tallests," Zim commanded. Gir, still in duty mode, 'hopped to it,' as the humans put it. Zim groaned and walked haphazardly to the sink, which he had plumbed so that it would only give out Irken liquids. Turning on the faucet, he got a glass of his equivalent to water. The alien panted at the effort, not used to a headache of this level. _It feels as if something is attempting to crack open my skull..._

Gir appeared next to him, holding out a small, blue pill. "Here is the medication you requested, master!" He saluted and ran to the screen to open a line with Purple and Red.

Zim placed the pill in his mouth, swallowing it along with a generous gulp of the liquid. _What in the seven hells was that all about?_ He wondered, already feeling the relief the Advil provided.

"Yes? What is it?" Zim made a squeaking noise and turned around to face the current Tallests. Red was looking at the screen in an irritant way, because Zim had woken them. "Zim? Are you there?"

"I-I am here, my Tallests. I have multiple things to report, some of them pressing issues. One is that the race here is slowly but surely becoming influenced by my decisions." Purple and Red dismissed that immediately, because this was the fifth-hundred or so time he'd said that. "Also, I have been chosen."

_That_ sure as hell got their attention. "What?" they both yelled at the same time. "Repeat that!"

"I have been _chosen_. I will become a Tallest. Be prepared, for soon my reign will begin, and the earthlings shall become my personal slaves! HAHAHAHA!" Zim ended, not aware of the horrified stares he was getting from his leaders.

"Oh, no," Red whispered to Purple, "This is very bad. Very bad indeed."

Purple, even though he was rather thick, agreed. "Yes, but I have an idea. Just follow the story." He turned to the screen, where Zim could still be seen laughing evilly. "Zim?" he said.

"Yes, Tallest Purple?" Zim said smugly.

"You know the rules, right? That you can only be an Almighty Tallest _after_ the current ones have died?" Red caught on to Purple's plan, and nodded vigorously.

"No." Zim frowned. "No, Zim did not know this. I shall wait, then. However, I have some questions. Are there side effects to this?"

"Yes," Purple answered without thinking.

Red stomped on his foot, and added, "But they should only include headaches. Nothing more. Tallests out." he signaled for the technicians to cut the transmission.

After the screen went black, Purple turned to Red. "Wasn't it kinda mean to not tell him? I mean, he IS gonna be a Tallest after all..."

Red chuckled. "No. He will die first, so that the empire doesn't have to put up with him. Telling him that his sexual drive's gonna increase will only result in an embarrassing talk about sex. And I have NO desire to be in that discussion."

"Oh..." Purple said. Secretly, he still thought it was rather mean.

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That night, at about 10:00 pm, Zim was still awake. He didn't know why though. _I feel...hot_, he decided, _but not a _bad_ kind of hot. It feels nice._ "Computer!"

"Yes, master?" it answered.

"Computer, analyze my condition."

The room beeped for a second or two, then said, "You are having sexual urges."

"Is there any way to, um, relieve these urges?"

The computer beeped for a second time, then replied, "Human males watch erotic pictures of human females."

"Erotic? What does that mean?"

"Tending to arouse sexual desire. Dominated by sexual love or desire. Is that of any help?"

"Somewhat, it basically means to see films of FILTHY human females naked, yes?"

"Affirmative."

Zim pondered this for a moment. One side of his brain was begging to not see such terrible things, while the other, louder part was demanding porn. The alien succumbed to the dominating, lust-crazed side. "Very well, where may I find these pictures?"

"The internet is the prime resource where erotic items can be found."

"Connect to the internet, then."

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The following day, Zim walked into class slumped over and had bags under his eyes. For some reason that Dib couldn't figure out, he felt like leaving the alien alone for the day. Maybe it was the fact that Zim hated Lex just as much as he did, or perhaps it was because Zim hadn't been bent on world domination for a while, but Dib was in a forgiving mood. He even restrained from poking, prodding, and barbing Zim with threats.

Zim glanced around the class tiredly. He'd been up till the wee hours of morning on porno sites, and was exhausted. Suddenly, he remembered what today's topic was about, and grinned. The heat had gone away eventually, and he'd been able to sleep. However, when the green teen had woken in the morning the warmth had come back forcefully. Hopefully the upcoming video would provide some relief to his current situation.

"Okay class, this health thing is a skool-wide assembly, so gather up your stuff and move to the auditorium," their sadistic, chalk-throwing teacher instructed. Zim, Dib, and Lex happened to all be in the same class, and while they were walking down the hallway Lex pulled up to walk beside Dib. Zim followed behind a few feet.

"So, Dib," Lex began, "your sister...is she single?"

Dib shifted uncomfortably, because if he said she was then he risked Gaz losing her innocence. If he said she was taken, then he ran a higher risk of Gaz throttling him and dooming him to an eternal world of pain. "Um, you know, I don't actually take an active interest in my sister's love life."

"She's my girlfriend," Zim said, stepping up beside Lex and glaring at him. Dib choked on his spit, his eyes widening. _What the hell is Zim DOING?_

"Oh, congratulations," Lex said in a false voice, while actually frowning and cursing inside.

'Sit next to me,' Zim mouthed at Dib behind Lex's back. Mutely, Dib nodded, spotting Gaz.

"Gaz! Over here!" he called to her, wanting to keep her in his sight. She glanced around, momentarily confused as to who was trying to get her attention, but realized it was Dib and pushed her way towards him.

Lex speedwalked in another diection, to where he could observe them without them noticing.

"What, Dib?" Gaz questioned in a monotone. "Your voice is stupid."

"Um, Zim wanted to know if you would sit next to him at the assembly!" Dib said quickly.

Gaz raised an eyebrow while Zim threw a nasty look at Dib. "Oookkkaayy..."

Zim twitched violently, and felt a piece of chalk hit his head. "Get into the auditorium!" the evil teacher roared, pelting Dib and Zim with chalk. The teacher carefully avoided Gaz, because she was the kid that had doomed a teacher last year.

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Once everyone was situated in the assembly hall, the principal stood up to announce some stuff. "Right, you're here as punishment - I mean, to learn about the development of the human body and sex. And related things. Just role the damn film!" he stepped off the stage, and the 3...2...1...thing played.

Dib turned to Zim. They were seated like the following: Dib had the outside seat, Zim had the next one in, and Gaz was next to Zim. "Okay, space boy, spill. Why did you claim that Gaz was your girlfriend?"

Zim shrugged. "You needed assistance. I provided it. Was that a problem?" he was smug looking, Dib decided, too smug.

"Yeah, a slight problem. Now Lex is gonna try to seduce my sister, because he thinks that she likes you! Plus, you'll have to spend lots of time with her now, and convince her to actually become your girlfriend!"

Dib thought that might knock Zim down a few pegs, but the alien just smirked and said, "I like challenges." Zim turned to Gaz, who was alternating playing her GS4 and watching the rather disgusting video. Zim could hear what sounded like screams of pain in the background, but ignored it. "Gaz."

"Mmm...yes?" Right now she was playing her video game. "What do you want?"

"Um...I was wondering... if you would maybe...go on a date with me? To Bloaty's?"

Gaz was startled enough to pause her game and look at Zim. "What?"

"Will you go on a date with me to Bloaty's Pizza Hog?" Zim hoped that this was a good idea.

Gaz blinked, that was what she thought she heard. "Um. Sure."

Zim was pleased. "This Saturday at 6:30 okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Gaz replied, going back to her game.

Zim turned haughtily back to Dib, who was sitting with a shocked expression. "How was that?" the green kid asked.

"But... she's a human!"

"Yes, but a very attractive one at that," Zim said.

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In the row above them, Lex sat glowering. A slutty girl plastered herself to him, but he was paying her no attention as he pondered what he'd just heard. _So, they aren't actually boyfriend and girlfriend...and Dib seems to have a problem with me, as does green boy._ He didn't really care, but it pissed him off that they had lied to him. _This means plan B must be put into action..._

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Hmmm... just what is plan B? Why did Gaz agree to the date? All these questions and more will be answered in the next chapter of Gaz Warz...!

...That sounded horribly corny. Oh well.

Please review. It quite simple, all you must do is press that bluish purple button at the bottom of the page and type something. Thanks for all comments.

Next update: ...whenever I get around to it. Eventually.

-Spazzyfries


	4. Skool's Threats

**HI PEOPLES! I have now updated from my room, aptly named "The Pit Of Despair" by my friend. With the hecticness of the holidays, it's later than I wanted, but here's the next chapter!**

If anybody cares to know, my sister is on her way to a full recovery :) The only thing she's grumbling about right now is how much her arm itches... because she broke her arm. She was in a car accident, I think. Or something like that. She's such a klutz.

**Warnings: More swearing. And innuendos, I think. Lex shows his true evil and nasty side...**

Hope you like it! "Talking" _Thinking_ 0000000000000 scene changes

**Disclaimer: I don't own INVADER ZIM, but I really want the bag HotTopic sells of him!**

\/ Chapter 4: Skool's Threats \/

After the horrendous movie ended, Dib and Zim trudged back to their home room class. They were both thinking, minds on the same subject. But they had differentiating views on the issue. What was it? Zim and Gaz's date, of course!

Zim's thoughts were content and smug. _If that waste of human flesh Lex dares to make a move on the Gaz-female, I, ZIM, will tear him apart! She expressed no interest in him when he was introduced to him, and I intend to keep it that way. Gaz will see, I was meant to be her love-pig!_

Dib, however, was bordering on homicidal. _What the hell is Zim doing? Gaz should be smarter than that, dammit! She knows he's an alien! And why does Zim want to date her in the first place? Is he gonna hurt her? What if _- Dib let out an undetectable gasp at this notion - _What if Zim is using her to get to me? Or even to Dad? Oh shit, I gotta stop him! Or at least learn his motives..._

Dib frowned, and as he sat down in the back he stared at Zim's green head. The alien, as if sensing Dib's eyes, turned around in his seat and caught the boy watching him. Both guys raised eyebrows, invisible or not.

"Meet me in front of the skool after class," Dib whispered, and Zim nodded slowly.

"ZIM! DIB! Pay ATTENTION!" Random objects flew at the aforementioned teenagers' heads, making both of them fall out of their seats in shock. The teacher had finally cracked, having gone from throwing his signature chalk to chucking things that could do real damage to someone's skull. Well, you would snap with the two boys in your class, too, you know.

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Gaz, after the movie had ended, made it look as if she was going to class, but instead she altered her course to the forbidden bathroom on the fringes of the skool. Riku was waiting, and it was her duty as his caretaker to make sure he was pleased. She had some leftovers from her breakfast to give to him.

"Hey Riku," Gaz said, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door tightly. Other than maybe her brother, Zim, and Lex, nobody knew she was here. It was the exact way she loved it. Skipping class was never a big deal, as she already knew the material. The principal had offered to let her skip a grade, but she denied. Cutting class was much more preferable to actually having to pay attention in a classroom.

Absentmindedly she pulled out some bread and tossed to a withering pile of green and purple mold. It rustled happily and absorbed it. Gaz still wasn't exactly sure how it digested anything, but as Riku had a great "personality" she wasn't going to ask questions.

Reaching into her pocket, she brought out her GameSlave 4, and turned it on. Riku, after finishing his bread, rustled. This was his way of talking, and Gaz interpreted it as "What're you doing here and not in class?"

Sighing, she paused her game and stared at the ceiling. "I needed to think. Riku, I just...I just feel strange. See, there are these two guys. I think they might like me, but it may just be hormones. In fact, hormones is probably why I like 'em back."

The mold on the walls shivered like it was cold, but the teenager knew that it was Riku's special sign of understanding. She smiled at it, pleased that at least something knew her problems and was there to help. Well, kinda there to help.

Gaz went back to pressing the buttons on her GS4, concentrating so hard on beating the boss she didn't notice the door to the girls' room crack open. A figure entered silently, carefully shutting the door and creeping over to stand next to her.

"Ahem." The person cleared it's throat.

"AUGH!" Gaz, caught off guard, screamed and scooted away. Her heart pounding, she turned around to see...

Lex.

He was just standing there, like he owned the place. He had a strange expression on his face, one that Gaz felt she should know. Hatred? Anger? Threatening? There seemed like there was more...

And then it hit her.

Lust.

He was watching her in a hungry way, like a predator waiting to pounce. It was making the purple-haired youth uncomfortable. She shifted positions just slightly, so that it almost went unnoticed. Lex, however, took notice of her discomfort and grinned to himself. "Hi, Gaz. I knew you'd be here. I have something to ask you."

She blinked at him. "What is it?"

He let the smile show through, but only a bit. "Do you like Zim? At all?"

Stunned, Gaz wondered that herself. "I...I don't know. Maybe. We're friends, but that's mostly just because we have a mutual loathing of my brother. I've never spent that much time with him." _Unless flying his spaceships and tormenting Dib at the same time counts,_ she added in her head.

Lex frowned. "Why're you going to Bloaty's with him then?"

Gaz shrugged. "I like pizza, and Zim was very polite about it. Despite the claims Dib has that makes Zim sound like some horrific otherworldly creature, Zim's actually rather...nice. To me, at least."

Lex nodded slowly. "Uh-huh. So you know he's an alien?"

Her eyes widened, and a gasp barely passed her lips. She tried to fake her way out of it, though. "He's not an alien! J-just ask anyone in the class. They'll say Dib is crazy."

"But I never mentioned Dib."

"How'd you hear about it then?"

Lex snorted. "Anybody with half of a brain could figure that one out. Anyway, if you go out with him, I'll be forced to tell the whole world of his predicament-"

It was Gaz's turn to laugh. "Oh, please, do you think I care? Also, don't you think that Dib has tried that multiple times? He has contacts in secret cults, groups, and the military all over the place, but nobody believes him. Even those 'Swollen Eyeball' people practically abandoned him after he called them one too many times with false information. What makes you think you'll have different luck?"

Lex flinched. _I didn't expect for it to be that hard to force this bitch into submission. Damn, time to resort to blackmail..._ Sighing, he pulled out a stack of papers. They were pictures, and they appeared to be from a notebook or printed. "I didn't want to do this, Gaz. But here are pictures from your house, and from things in your notebook."

Holding them so that she could see them, Lex barely suppressed a grin. _This will get her to stay away from Zim, and screw me!_

How wrong he was.

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "These aren't mine," she declared, pushing them towards the boy. "Who gave them to you?"

Lex stared wide-eyed at her. "B-but Zita said-!"

"Zita? She hates my guts. She'll do anything to try and get me into trouble. Don't trust her." Yawning, Gaz stood up and stretched. "Well, this was nice and all, but I really should go-"

"Oh no you don't," Lex snarled, pulling out a knife. Gaz's expression changed from one of boredom to one of barely perceptible fear. "You will NOT go to that pizza place with Zim, you WILL become my girlfriend and "help" me, and you WILL NOT tell ANYBODY about this!" Advancing on her, Lex grinned. "Or your life will become one of unbearable suffering. I know may people... many of them would consider themselves lucky to have a new bitch to play with. They are always watching out for me... and I can make it so that they always watch you, too."

Gaz was paler than normal. She had always been the scary one, the one who everyone stayed away from. Suddenly she'd had two guys come at her at the same time, and she had no idea how to handle the situation. It had spiraled out of control so fast now, and Gaz could feel the pressures of teenage life catching up to her.

"Come on, you girl, are you going to accept my kind offer, or will I have to harm you?" Lex was still walking forward, inch by inch.

Gaz swallowed hard, and heard a beeping noise. She instantly realized it was her GameSlave, and knew that it was now flashing a sign that said "Game Over."

To her, that seemed to be the truest statement in the world.

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Mmm...That's all for now. It was going to be much longer, but that would have taken forever to type, and I figured people wanted to read it...

Okay, leave a comment or something please! Thanks! Oh, and a little advertizing: I have a new story up, and nobody seems to be reading it. If you like darker stories, then it's for you. It's another ZAGR, but it a different sense... sort of. Oh well, you decide.

-Spazzyfries


	5. Bleeding Roses

**Many of my friends wonder how I manage to be so horribly morbid yet somewhat funny. My reply is "I have bipolar." I don't, but most of the time it seems as if I do...**

Now I have updated this and my other one! Yes! The internet was down for hours the other night, which really ticked me off, cause then I was internet-less... it sucked bad. Moo. Also, I apologize for lack of updating. I had some other stuffs and a really random bout of writers block.

**Warnings: Swearing, innuendos, stuff, an authoress who just had sugar... you get the (not so pretty) picture. Actually, there's really not too much of that stuff in this chapter. Oh, and the chapter name... this is the second version. It made more sense than the original title.**

"Talking" _thinking _0000000000scene changes

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Invader Zim or any of it's merchandise. My friend has my Zim DVDs, and I miss it...**

/Chapter 5: Bleeding Roses/

When skool let out for that day, Dib waited, like always, for his younger sister to appear. But, when after waiting for 15 minutes and her not having made an appearance, he became anxious. "Now where could she have gone? Honestly, someday she's gonna give dad a heart attack with all the shit she pulls..." Knowing deep down that their father really didn't pay that much attention to their lives, he pushed the annoyance down and walked back into the Hi Skool.

Muttering to himself the random things teenage boys mutter about, Dib came upon Zim clapping erasers. "Zim? What are you doing here?"

"I caused a minor disruption today in another class."

"Which included...?"

"Banging my head on the archway, knocking into the teacher's desk, causing her to spill her coffee all over herself, which finally resulted in the teacher-stink beast falling over another FILTHY child. I got detention for it. I still dunno what I did wrong in the class. All I did was call her a 'stupid human-smell-beast' after she spilled her coffee." Zim answered without even looking up. "Why are _you _here?"

"Gaz is missing. She didn't come out of the skool after the bell rang," Dib replied hesitantly. Who knew what Zim was going to do? Laugh? Make fun of him? Not care?

But the alien's reaction was anything but what Dib expected. Zim stood up quickly, mumbling something under his breath. "I bet I know where she is," Zim said.

Dib had the same idea. "The forbidden bathroom. I'll be back."

Zim snorted as he dropped the erasers. "You think for a moment that I, ZIM, will let you go find your sister by your puny earth self? Are you disillusional?"

"It's 'delusional,' and no, I'm not," Dib replied hotly. "I just didn't expect an alien like you would worry so much about a pitiful earth female such as Gaz."

"Pfft. Don't underestimate me, earth-stink. Gaz-female is no ordinary human." Zim was busily wiping his hands on his, er, uniform. "I am coming with you, and that's final."

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Indeed, Gaz was in the bathroom. But she was not in the best of spirits. Lex had just utterly scarred her, emotionally and physically. After threatening her with the knife, he made a long cut on her arm. It wasn't deep, but it wasn't exactly shallow either, plus it was bleeding rather heavily. "For insurance," he'd told her, "and to mark you as mine."

Gaz was disgusted; that made it sound as if it was an animalistic claim. If it had just been a regular cut, she wouldn't have minded, but when he said it like that...

It made her want to deliberately ignore him and enlarge the bloody wound, if just to piss Lex off. Her rebellious side had often been seen as a curse, but to her it was one of her greatest assets in life.

Gaz could tell that Riku was agitated; he knew something had happened - even if he couldn't see it - and for that he was rustling unhappily everywhere. This caused dust and little particles of things that you don't wanna know what they are to fly all over the place, but the goth girl cared less right at that particular moment. She sighed.

"Riku... I'm tired. I should just go to sleep." Somewhere in her head, she knew it was the large blood loss getting to her, but she ignored that little thought in favor of think what a good rest would feel like. She hated being weak more than anything else, but relaxation sounded so nice. "I'm going to sleep now..."

It was at that moment Zim and Dib burst through the bathroom door, to see Gaz slump over like a rag doll. "GAZ!" They both yelled at the same time. Dib blinked at the slightly scared tone in Zim's voice, but pushed it away and ran to his sister's side. "Oh no..."

"Dib?" she asked feebly. "Get me a band-aide... My arm is bleeding..."

Zim carefully turned her on to her back, and indeed her left arm was oozing the thick red liquid of life. Dib recoiled at the sight, but Zim (who lived with Gir and had seen many, _many_ more disturbing things) gently picked her up.

"Waitaminute, where do you think you're taking her?" Dib said, turning quickly toward the alien.

"To my lab, dirt boy. She needs medical attention, and I can heal this arm faster than any earth hospital. Also, she's lost a substantial amount of blood and needs to be stabilized. I have all necessary equipment for such a case. Do you want me to save her or not?" Zim activated his spider legs before Dib could say anything. "Come to my base, you can stay upstairs with Gir while I fix Gaz's arm."

It wasn't until after Zim had ran off with his sister did Dib realize Zim hadn't added an insulting title to Gaz's name.

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Deep underground, past a few sewage tubes and beyond the subways that the city had just installed (but no one knew about them yet), was Zim's labs. And in Zim's labs...

...was an insane robot named Gir. He was a SIR unit, and Zim's SIR unit at that, but as he was made out of random stuff the Tallests had thrown together he was crazy and did stupid things.

Like annoying the computer.

"Wassatdo? Wazzit do? I WANT TACOS!" Gir screamed wildly while poking buttons on a control panel-y thing. About then was when Zim walked in, to the computer's incessant moaning.

"Computer!" Zim shouted, laying Gaz on a hospital type bed. Where he had gotten it was a mystery, even to the all-knowing computer.

"WhhAAaattTT?" it answered in a long, drawn out voice. "Master, tell the infidel to leave my circuitry alone."

"Uh-huh, sure, as soon as you gather all items needed for a repair job on a human arm." Zim glanced around the room expectantly. "Well!"

"You mean now?" the computer asked in a bored/sarcastic tone.

But, Zim being Zim, was oblivious. "Yes, now! She'll die eventually if we don't fix her up!"

"May I ask _why_ you care?" the computer said innocently, while gathering what his master directed.

"No, you may NOT! Zim's motives are his own!" Even as he said that, though, he blushed slightly. It was very, very small and pretty much unnoticeable, however as a computer you sense everything.

"Sure, sure, whatever you say," it droned. "Here, now tell the robot to stop pressing my buttons."

"GIR! Get away from that panel. You could cause a core meltdown that would blow up the earth," Zim instructed. Gir laughed insanely but ran upstairs anyway, saying something about cupcakes.

Sighing, Zim returned to the task at hand: fixing up Gaz's arm. The details will not be told, as they included some things that only Irkens know how to use and the rather painful use of needles.

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That's it, crappy ending I know but I'm working on the next chapter now, so it will be up within two or so weeks. I hope.

-Spazzyfries (Long live french fries and bacon!)


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